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Allowing Silence: a call to listen

30 May

Allowing Silence

A Call to Listen

We have a tradition in our home that, at dinner, our children get the chance to decide who is going to pray and say a word of thanksgiving for our family, friends, food and other blessings in our lives.  Recently, our three year old daughter has insisted on praying first in order to thank Jesus for dying for our sins.  It’s an adorable reminder that the rest of what we’re thankful for doesn’t mean a whole lot without the cross.  Funny how preschoolers can take such a matter-of-fact approach to the profound.

Tonight, during the week after Memorial Day, I grilled up the last of our hot dogs and sat down to enjoy some good ol’ fashioned American cuisine with our family gathered around the table.  Processed meat: check.  Watermelon: check.  Carrots and ranch dip: double check.

We each prayed tonight; first our daughter prayed parts of the “sinner’s prayer” for what amounts to be close to her 47th time, I followed by thanking God for our family and for our sons’s kindergarten teacher, my wife then thanked God for our meal and asked that God would help me finish the projects I have looming and, last, my son took his turn to pray.

…

silence.

…

silence.

…

more silence.

…

It was at this point that I broke one of the basic rules of prayers that we teach kids – I opened my eyes to see what was going on.  Well, actually, I only partially opened one eye – you know, because sometimes we act like opening our eyes during prayer makes our wishes not come true (not theologically sound, mind you, but totally how we act sometimes).  I noticed our son, sitting under the table, hands folded, eyes closed and sitting silently.  I closed my eyes, thankful that everything looked to be okay, and went back to respectfully sitting quietly as my son finished praying.

…

silence.

…

more silence.

…

I started to think about all of the things I needed to do after dinner:  The email I didn’t send today.  The email I sent but should have proofread better.  The files I needed to download before Sunday.  The car that needed to get washed.  The hot dog that was rapidly cooling back to its refrigerated state on my plate.

…

still silence.

…

“… amen.”

Our son, who just finished kindergarten this week, crawled back onto his seat and took a giant bite of now-only-slightly-warm hot dog.  I had just sat through what felt like one of the longest 5 minute stretches in my life and had to ask why.

“I needed to listen to see if God had anything to say,” he replied.  ”He didn’t tonight, so I said ‘amen’.”

…

silence.

…

It was at that point that I looked over at my wife.  She smiled at me.  I held back a tear.  God might not have said anything to my son tonight, but I got the message loud and clear.

There are times in my life when I feel like I need to say something.  In general, I’m uncomfortable with the void that silence can create.  In no way would I consider myself wired to be an extrovert.  Quite frankly, people exhaust me sometimes.  But, I get uncomfortable if I could be producing something and I’m not.

Sitting in silence seems like the opposite of doing something.  So, more often than not, I say more words than I should.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.” – Psalm 46:10

And so I sit here tonight, wondering if I can begin to listen for God’s voice in the way that my children naturally lift their ears towards the heavens.  I wonder what being still actually feels like and if, once I experience it, I’ll find myself changed by it.

…

silence.

…

Consider this a call to listen this week.  Carve out time to seek the stillness that comes in being silent.  And, in that stillness, ask to see if there is anything that God would like to tell you.  If nothing else, know that God is there in the silence.  Like a father, watching his child learn what it’s like to listen for his voice.

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2013 in Thoughts

 

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More than a “Good Example”

01 Mar

More than a “Good Example”

You cannot earn your child’s place in Heaven

Growing up in a small town, I loved driving past the local car wash on Main Street for one reason: they had a sign with changeable letters.

The sign owners would change the display often – switching from riddles, to knock-knock jokes, to [in]famous quotes, to sales… but, one thing stayed the same.  We all paid attention to that sign.

Fast-forward 20 years and you’d often find me driving past a similar sign that sits in front of a local church that I live near.  If you saw me drive past it today, you’d have seen me turn pale as I read this week’s “inspirational” quote:

churchsign

“The greatest thing you can give your child is a good example”

Here’s why I disagree and wanted to take down the words from the sign where I read them:

As parents, we cannot place the weight of our children’s future squarely on our shoulders. Our children need more than good examples. Good examples won’t get them to heaven, friends.

From a secular understanding, I’d totally agree. The only thing you can give your children, if this world is all there is, is an example to watch.  They’ll choose whether or not to follow that example – but it’s yours to offer.

From the understanding that I’m coming from, that there are greater things yet to come (and, by yet to come, I mean to say that there will be life that continues long after my lungs no longer have breath in them), the greatest thing I can offer my children is a relationship with Jesus.  The example I set for them will pale in comparison to the life-changing power of God’s spirit in their lives.

All too often, parents neglect the spiritual ramifications of their choices and their examples.  If I truly believed that the most important thing, 100 years from now, is my child’s relationship with their creator… would I ever choose to skip gathering with the Church because of sports, a birthday party or a homework assignment?  If I had a sign that hung over my door, reminding me that the one thing that matters is my child’s relationship with Jesus, would that change the way I approach the day?  I think it would.

This is not to say that a good example is meaningless.  Rather, the example I set shows my children what it looks like to be a husband and a father who loves Jesus.  But, friends, my example is not the greatest gift I can give to my children.  My example matters, but it isn’t enough to save them.  The school they go to, the grades they get, the sports they play, the scholarships they receive, the person they marry, the job they get or the house they live in will not save them.

That’s something that only a relationship with Jesus can do.

Unless, of course, this world is truly all that there is.  Then your example is all you have to offer.  If that’s your worldview, then this sign is for you.

However, I believe in something bigger than what I can offer my kids.

How about you?
Agree or disagree?

 
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Posted by on March 1, 2013 in Kidmin, Quotes, Thoughts

 

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Loving with a Broken Heart

14 Feb

empty table

Loving with a Broken Heart

Living with the echoes of a miscarriage

This post will go live on Valentine’s Day, but it could be written on any random day over the last few months.

I sat this morning, looking at my children, and my heart ached for the baby who’ll never sit in a Bumbo, a child who’ll never have chocolate smeared on her face, a little girl who will never have the chance to forget her Disney Princess lunch bag at school.  Our family of five has a sixth member who we’ll never meet and, on mornings like this, the feelings of loss that have slowly faded to the background of life come rushing forward in a moment that makes me catch my breath.  I miss the baby I never met.

It feels funny to write that last sentence.

(you can read more about how we’ve processed our story here: 
http://westcoastcm.com/?s=miscarriage
)

Before our miscarriage, I could have never understood the way that losing a child hangs with you like a cloud on days like today.  I never understood why parents would buy into the myth that our lost children spend the rest of our days hovering over us as guardian angels.  Now I understand – there are days when it feels like there is literally something hanging over you.  It’s hard to explain.  If my understanding of Scripture and the historical Judeo-Christian understanding of angels didn’t get in the way of this belief, I’d consider buying in.  I blame Hallmark, Precious Moments and It’s a Wonderful Life for making this belief a popular option for mourning families.

For those of us in ministry, we need to go out of our way to make room for families who will find themselves mourning the loss of a child at random times.  If you’ve been impacted by the loss of a child, this isn’t news to you.  However, if you’ve never suffered through a miscarriage, still birth or loss of a young child, I’d encourage you to consider keeping tabs on The STILL Project.

I’d encourage you to watch the trailer below, and to say a prayer today for families who have an empty spot at their table today that could be filled by a child they’ve had to say goodbye to.

So, today, help me leverage our loss for the greater good.  God’s heart is for those who mourn (Matthew 5:4).  Share this post, or the video above.

Point people toward this post:
http://meredithannemiller.com/2012/01/09/the-world-has-stopped/

Or read and share this post: 
http://www.lauraziesel.com/2011/12/miscarriage-fertility-and-my-broken.html

Or share your story.  Our communities need to speak openly about this topic.

Today, I’ll keep loving my wife and my kids, even as my heart breaks.  I’ll pick up my son from school.  Help coach a T-Ball team.  We’ll cuddle on the sofa later and watch Charlie Brown movies together.  The echoes of our miscarriage still bounce off the walls of my heart sometimes.

Thanks for listening in with me.

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Honor Your Parents: A Commandment

06 Feb

Anthony Prince Family

Honor Your Parents

A Commandment, not simply a “Good Idea”

I spend a lot of my life thinking about parenting and how families can best glorify their Creator with the lives they live.  So, because of that, I was recently asked to speak to our congregation about how the fifth commandment, to honor thy father and mother, should play out in our lives.  Now that the sermon is online (link posted below), I thought I’d recap here with some practical thoughts on honoring parents.

A Commandment

It’s good for us to consider that this command, to honor our parents, is included on the same list as do not murder and do not commit adultery.  As a command, we need to take it seriously.  The command isn’t something that comes with a clause at the end giving us the option to honor our parents at our discretion.  For those of us who seek to raise kids who honor God with their lives, we need to live lives that demonstrate this commandment in the way we honor our own parents and the way that we show honor to the other adults who are in our children’s lives.

On the Same Team

If you’ve heard me teach before, or have read this blog in the past few years, you know that I use the language of “partnership” when talking about the way that our church serves families in our community.  We can teach the next generation to honor their parents by joining their team and using language that shows that we value and appreciate their hard work.  For some ideas on how to best cast vision for partnership with other parents, check out this post:

Casting a Vision for Partnership


http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/08/casting-a-vision-for-partnership/

Even with it’s Hard

A few people in my closest circles know that the last few months have been a hard season for me (and for my family).  When I had the chance to preach at our church, I shared some of my story – and what it looks like to show honor to our parents, even when they aren’t who we think we need them to be in our lives.

We tried a different approach to this sermon; our senior pastor spent the first half preaching on why we should honor our parents and I spent the last half discussing how it practically plays out in our lives.

Here’s a link to directly download the sermon 
The Spirituality of Family

Here’s a link to our sermons on iTunes
Glenkirk Church Podcast
(look for the sermon titled, “The Spirituality of Family”)

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2013 in Thoughts

 

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Partnering with Parents: Workshop Prezi

04 Feb

(pictured above, Westwood United Methodist Church)

Partnering with Parents

Workshop Prezi and LINKS

This weekend, I was asked to present a workshop on Partnering with Parents at a West Coast gathering for ministry leaders in the United Methodist Church.

Here’s the Prezi I used for the weekend’s presentation… which should look familiar because the content was very similar to what I presented in Chicago last Fall.

PREZI LINK: Orange-ology: Turning Parents into Partners
(you’ll notice a shout-out to Orange in this workshop, because I wanted to pitch the Orange strategy to these leaders in a way that I felt would have been distracting at Kidmin)

Other posts related to this topic:

Reaching a New Generation of Families


http://westcoastcm.com/2011/10/13/reaching-a-new-generation-of-families/

Reaching a New Generation of Families: Redux


http://westcoastcm.com/2012/03/13/reaching-a-new-generation-of-families-redux/

Turning Parents into Partners: An Introduction


http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/06/parents-into-partners-an-introduction/

Parents into Partners: Strategy #1


http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/06/parents-into-partners-strategy-1/

Casting a Vision for Partnership


http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/08/casting-a-vision-for-partnership/

 
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Posted by on February 4, 2013 in Kidmin, Resources

 

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Strategic Church Leadership: ECO Workshop

31 Jan

A Gathering of The Fellowship & ECO

Strategic Church Leadership Workshop

I recently had the privilege to teach alongside my senior pastor, Jim Miller, at The Gathering of the Fellowship and ECO: a denominational conference in Orlando, Florida.

Here’s the description of the workshop:

Strategic Church Planning
Tired of ministry ideas that never quite hatch into effective mission? Wondering why so much of what you try
doesn’t get off the ground? Maybe a strategic approach to preaching, family ministries, staffing, meetings,
and everything else would help you move God’s people from being an institution to being a movement of the
Kingdom. Study effective steps to building systems that produce the results you want.

(Click HERE to view the Prezi/slideshow for this workshop)

It was exciting to be at a national gathering of church leaders who made a public pledge to baptize more people than they bury over the next few years – something that few denominations can actually say in 2013.  As mainline denominations continue to die, it’s encouraging to see churches rally around the call to make disciples (who make disciples) and who are trying to do so through innovation and strategic planning.  It was a blessing to be a part of this gathering.

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2013 in Resources

 

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Hiring: A Partner for our Family Ministry Team

08 Jan

Image

Hiring: A Partner for our Family Ministry Team

Job Description (and feel free to share this post!)

You may or may not have been reading this blog when I posted this:

http://westcoastcm.com/2010/05/17/top-10-reasons-i-want-you-on-staff/

Context: You see, a good friend of mine had left our family ministry team and I knew that only the right person could fill the gap left in our ministry team.  Our church was in the midst of restructuring in such a way that we could strategically partner with parents of kids, cradle to college, to pass the faith on to the next generation.

And, because Jesus knows what he’s up to, we hired the only person who could have filled the position we created.

Now, a few years later, we are looking to add another person to our team.

Earlier this year, our Middle School Director got married.  That life-transition led him to begin interviewing at churches so that he and his new wife could take on a bigger role at a place that was looking at doing some of the same creative things in ministry that we’ve been doing to reach families in our community.  Hard to blame him – 7 years ago, I did the same thing.  I’m stoked (and a little sad) to say that he found an amazing fit out in Colorado, where he’ll be able to help lead that church in a direction that’s a little more Orange than it’s been.

So… we’re hiring.

The job description is here:

http://www.glenkirkchurch.org/page3-52/ResourcesJobopportunities

We only hire people who are passionate about partnering with families, who are innovative in ministry and have a track record of building teams who pass the faith on well to the next generation.

If that’s you (or you know someone who fits that description), let me know.  You can send me a message on Facebook (HERE) or Twitter (HERE) or leave a comment below and I’ll put in a good word for you :)

 
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Posted by on January 8, 2013 in Orange

 

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