RSS

More than a “Good Example”

01 Mar

More than a “Good Example”

You cannot earn your child’s place in Heaven

Growing up in a small town, I loved driving past the local car wash on Main Street for one reason: they had a sign with changeable letters.

The sign owners would change the display often – switching from riddles, to knock-knock jokes, to [in]famous quotes, to sales… but, one thing stayed the same.  We all paid attention to that sign.

Fast-forward 20 years and you’d often find me driving past a similar sign that sits in front of a local church that I live near.  If you saw me drive past it today, you’d have seen me turn pale as I read this week’s “inspirational” quote:

churchsign

“The greatest thing you can give your child is a good example”

Here’s why I disagree and wanted to take down the words from the sign where I read them:

As parents, we cannot place the weight of our children’s future squarely on our shoulders. Our children need more than good examples. Good examples won’t get them to heaven, friends.

From a secular understanding, I’d totally agree. The only thing you can give your children, if this world is all there is, is an example to watch.  They’ll choose whether or not to follow that example – but it’s yours to offer.

From the understanding that I’m coming from, that there are greater things yet to come (and, by yet to come, I mean to say that there will be life that continues long after my lungs no longer have breath in them), the greatest thing I can offer my children is a relationship with Jesus.  The example I set for them will pale in comparison to the life-changing power of God’s spirit in their lives.

All too often, parents neglect the spiritual ramifications of their choices and their examples.  If I truly believed that the most important thing, 100 years from now, is my child’s relationship with their creator… would I ever choose to skip gathering with the Church because of sports, a birthday party or a homework assignment?  If I had a sign that hung over my door, reminding me that the one thing that matters is my child’s relationship with Jesus, would that change the way I approach the day?  I think it would.

This is not to say that a good example is meaningless.  Rather, the example I set shows my children what it looks like to be a husband and a father who loves Jesus.  But, friends, my example is not the greatest gift I can give to my children.  My example matters, but it isn’t enough to save them.  The school they go to, the grades they get, the sports they play, the scholarships they receive, the person they marry, the job they get or the house they live in will not save them.

That’s something that only a relationship with Jesus can do.

Unless, of course, this world is truly all that there is.  Then your example is all you have to offer.  If that’s your worldview, then this sign is for you.

However, I believe in something bigger than what I can offer my kids.

How about you?
Agree or disagree?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 1, 2013 in Kidmin, Quotes, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

Loving with a Broken Heart

14 Feb

empty table

Loving with a Broken Heart

Living with the echoes of a miscarriage

This post will go live on Valentine’s Day, but it could be written on any random day over the last few months.

I sat this morning, looking at my children, and my heart ached for the baby who’ll never sit in a Bumbo, a child who’ll never have chocolate smeared on her face, a little girl who will never have the chance to forget her Disney Princess lunch bag at school.  Our family of five has a sixth member who we’ll never meet and, on mornings like this, the feelings of loss that have slowly faded to the background of life come rushing forward in a moment that makes me catch my breath.  I miss the baby I never met.

It feels funny to write that last sentence.

(you can read more about how we’ve processed our story here: http://westcoastcm.com/?s=miscarriage)

Before our miscarriage, I could have never understood the way that losing a child hangs with you like a cloud on days like today.  I never understood why parents would buy into the myth that our lost children spend the rest of our days hovering over us as guardian angels.  Now I understand – there are days when it feels like there is literally something hanging over you.  It’s hard to explain.  If my understanding of Scripture and the historical Judeo-Christian understanding of angels didn’t get in the way of this belief, I’d consider buying in.  I blame Hallmark, Precious Moments and It’s a Wonderful Life for making this belief a popular option for mourning families.

For those of us in ministry, we need to go out of our way to make room for families who will find themselves mourning the loss of a child at random times.  If you’ve been impacted by the loss of a child, this isn’t news to you.  However, if you’ve never suffered through a miscarriage, still birth or loss of a young child, I’d encourage you to consider keeping tabs on The STILL Project.

I’d encourage you to watch the trailer below, and to say a prayer today for families who have an empty spot at their table today that could be filled by a child they’ve had to say goodbye to.

So, today, help me leverage our loss for the greater good.  God’s heart is for those who mourn (Matthew 5:4).  Share this post, or the video above.

Point people toward this post: http://meredithannemiller.com/2012/01/09/the-world-has-stopped/

Or read and share this post: http://www.lauraziesel.com/2011/12/miscarriage-fertility-and-my-broken.html

Or share your story.  Our communities need to speak openly about this topic.

Today, I’ll keep loving my wife and my kids, even as my heart breaks.  I’ll pick up my son from school.  Help coach a T-Ball team.  We’ll cuddle on the sofa later and watch Charlie Brown movies together.  The echoes of our miscarriage still bounce off the walls of my heart sometimes.

Thanks for listening in with me.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 14, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , ,

Honor Your Parents: A Commandment

06 Feb

Anthony Prince Family

Honor Your Parents

A Commandment, not simply a “Good Idea”

I spend a lot of my life thinking about parenting and how families can best glorify their Creator with the lives they live.  So, because of that, I was recently asked to speak to our congregation about how the fifth commandment, to honor thy father and mother, should play out in our lives.  Now that the sermon is online (link posted below), I thought I’d recap here with some practical thoughts on honoring parents.

A Commandment

It’s good for us to consider that this command, to honor our parents, is included on the same list as do not murder and do not commit adultery.  As a command, we need to take it seriously.  The command isn’t something that comes with a clause at the end giving us the option to honor our parents at our discretion.  For those of us who seek to raise kids who honor God with their lives, we need to live lives that demonstrate this commandment in the way we honor our own parents and the way that we show honor to the other adults who are in our children’s lives.

On the Same Team

If you’ve heard me teach before, or have read this blog in the past few years, you know that I use the language of “partnership” when talking about the way that our church serves families in our community.  We can teach the next generation to honor their parents by joining their team and using language that shows that we value and appreciate their hard work.  For some ideas on how to best cast vision for partnership with other parents, check out this post:

Casting a Vision for Partnership

http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/08/casting-a-vision-for-partnership/

Even with it’s Hard

A few people in my closest circles know that the last few months have been a hard season for me (and for my family).  When I had the chance to preach at our church, I shared some of my story – and what it looks like to show honor to our parents, even when they aren’t who we think we need them to be in our lives.

We tried a different approach to this sermon; our senior pastor spent the first half preaching on why we should honor our parents and I spent the last half discussing how it practically plays out in our lives.

Here’s a link to directly download the sermon 
The Spirituality of Family

Here’s a link to our sermons on iTunes
Glenkirk Church Podcast
(look for the sermon titled, “The Spirituality of Family”)

 
2 Comments

Posted by on February 6, 2013 in Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

Partnering with Parents: Workshop Prezi

04 Feb

(pictured above, Westwood United Methodist Church)

Partnering with Parents

Workshop Prezi and LINKS

This weekend, I was asked to present a workshop on Partnering with Parents at a West Coast gathering for ministry leaders in the United Methodist Church.

Here’s the Prezi I used for the weekend’s presentation… which should look familiar because the content was very similar to what I presented in Chicago last Fall.

PREZI LINK: Orange-ology: Turning Parents into Partners
(you’ll notice a shout-out to Orange in this workshop, because I wanted to pitch the Orange strategy to these leaders in a way that I felt would have been distracting at Kidmin)

Other posts related to this topic:

Reaching a New Generation of Families

http://westcoastcm.com/2011/10/13/reaching-a-new-generation-of-families/

Reaching a New Generation of Families: Redux

http://westcoastcm.com/2012/03/13/reaching-a-new-generation-of-families-redux/

Turning Parents into Partners: An Introduction

http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/06/parents-into-partners-an-introduction/

Parents into Partners: Strategy #1

http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/06/parents-into-partners-strategy-1/

Casting a Vision for Partnership

http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/08/casting-a-vision-for-partnership/

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 4, 2013 in Kidmin, Resources

 

Tags: , , , ,

Strategic Church Leadership: ECO Workshop

31 Jan

A Gathering of The Fellowship & ECO

Strategic Church Leadership Workshop

I recently had the privilege to teach alongside my senior pastor, Jim Miller, at The Gathering of the Fellowship and ECO: a denominational conference in Orlando, Florida.

Here’s the description of the workshop:

Strategic Church Planning
Tired of ministry ideas that never quite hatch into effective mission? Wondering why so much of what you try
doesn’t get off the ground? Maybe a strategic approach to preaching, family ministries, staffing, meetings,
and everything else would help you move God’s people from being an institution to being a movement of the
Kingdom. Study effective steps to building systems that produce the results you want.

(Click HERE to view the Prezi/slideshow for this workshop)

It was exciting to be at a national gathering of church leaders who made a public pledge to baptize more people than they bury over the next few years – something that few denominations can actually say in 2013.  As mainline denominations continue to die, it’s encouraging to see churches rally around the call to make disciples (who make disciples) and who are trying to do so through innovation and strategic planning.  It was a blessing to be a part of this gathering.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 31, 2013 in Resources

 

Tags: , , , ,

Hiring: A Partner for our Family Ministry Team

08 Jan

Image

Hiring: A Partner for our Family Ministry Team

Job Description (and feel free to share this post!)

You may or may not have been reading this blog when I posted this:
http://westcoastcm.com/2010/05/17/top-10-reasons-i-want-you-on-staff/

Context: You see, a good friend of mine had left our family ministry team and I knew that only the right person could fill the gap left in our ministry team.  Our church was in the midst of restructuring in such a way that we could strategically partner with parents of kids, cradle to college, to pass the faith on to the next generation.

And, because Jesus knows what he’s up to, we hired the only person who could have filled the position we created.

Now, a few years later, we are looking to add another person to our team.

Earlier this year, our Middle School Director got married.  That life-transition led him to begin interviewing at churches so that he and his new wife could take on a bigger role at a place that was looking at doing some of the same creative things in ministry that we’ve been doing to reach families in our community.  Hard to blame him – 7 years ago, I did the same thing.  I’m stoked (and a little sad) to say that he found an amazing fit out in Colorado, where he’ll be able to help lead that church in a direction that’s a little more Orange than it’s been.

So… we’re hiring.

The job description is here:
http://www.glenkirkchurch.org/page3-52/ResourcesJobopportunities

We only hire people who are passionate about partnering with families, who are innovative in ministry and have a track record of building teams who pass the faith on well to the next generation.

If that’s you (or you know someone who fits that description), let me know.  You can send me a message on Facebook (HERE) or Twitter (HERE) or leave a comment below and I’ll put in a good word for you :)

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 8, 2013 in Orange

 

Tags: , , , ,

Casting a Vision for Partnership

08 Oct

Casting a Vision for Partnership

Ideas about the why and the how-to of vision casting toward partnership

Most parents in your congregation have no idea why they bring their kids to your church.  That might seem like a ridiculous statement… but, I think it’s more true than not.

If you were to survey families in your church (assuming they’d actually do the extra work of filling out a survey and turning it back in) do you think that you’d get a consistant answer from various parents, grandparents and guardians about why their family attends church?  On their own, families will develop a variety of reasons for church attendance and it’s your responsibility, if you want to develop a partnership between your church and families in your community, to begin casting a unified vision for why a family brings their children to your church.

Here’s how:

Cast vision with what you say

Words have the power to help create and form reality.  Our children are born without names and yet, because we choose a name for them and speak it into existence, they come to know that you’re addressing them when their name is spoken.  In a similar way, you have the power to speak partnership into existence by using partnering terms with parents in your congregation.

Try building words & phrases like “partnering”, “partner”, “come-alongside”, “same team”, “in this together”, and “widen the circle” into the vocabulary you use during conversations, teaching moments and parenting gatherings.  Look for moments to say, in front of kids and students, that you’re on the same team as their parents.  You get bonus points if parents are actually around when you use this language.

Cast vision with what you print

This might sound redundant, but the words you type matter almost as much as the words you speak.  Are you the kind of person who posts angry things about parents on your Facebook page?  It seems to me that a good partner would encourage the person their working with – not talk smack about them in a public forum.  Consider what it might look like to be the biggest cheerleader the parents in your congregation could ask for.

The next time you send an email, think about using words of partnership in your writing.  Talk about initiatives that involve partnership.  Talk about what it looks like to partner with you in raising kids who love Jesus.  My emails all end with “partnering” language.  That’s not an accident.  If the language you use when you write simply talks about the programs you offer for kids, don’t be surprised when parents expect a new exciting program instead of a partnership from you.

Cast vision with what you show & celebrate

Have you ever noticed that most kids, when asked who their favorite superhero is, don’t think of mentioning the Invisible Man?  Invisibility might be a neat power to think about having, but kids aren’t heading to your local Target next Halloween to buy the latest “Invisible Man” costume.  Batman, Superman, Ironman and Disney Princesses will continue to dominate the costume aisle for any sort of foreseeable future.  The Invisible Man has always had a PR problem… because nobody can see the guy.

With that in mind, you need to know that the vision of partnership between parents and your church has to be something that families can see before they know what they’re aiming for.  It’s up to you, leader, to find ways to show your congregation what partnership looks like.  Recently, a family at our church shared with us that their daughter had decided to follow Jesus at their house – and you better believe we’re sharing that story like crazy. If, in our context, we’re trying to equip families to talk about their faith at home, I couldn’t paint a better picture than parents leading their daughter to Jesus and then circling back to the church to celebrate the new life in their family.  Don’t let your vision for partnership remain invisible – find ways to show it to your congregation and your community.

This is part of a series of posts on serving families in our communities.  To see the notes and slides that go with this series, visit: http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/03/turning-parents-into-partners/

other posts you might enjoy…

Parents into Partners: Strategy #1
http://westcoastcm.com/2012/10/06/parents-into-partners-strategy-1/

Dreaming in Orange
http://westcoastcm.com/2011/09/22/dreaming-in-orange/

 
3 Comments

Posted by on October 8, 2012 in Kidmin12, Orange, Thoughts

 

Tags: , ,

← Older posts
 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,422 other followers

%d bloggers like this: